it has been a very long time

...since I last post here. Nothing much have changed.

I am still strugling with my writing. I am not able to do anything with the data I have. That is the story of my life.

Ok. I have been meaning to write this for a very long time. But I never got to that point that make me to really want to write this. But, here I am, and I have to do this.

... how do I start this?

How do I lost my touch?

These are my theories, and I have no idea whether they are true or not.

NUMBER 1:
It was back in 2001, or maybe 2002. In my second semester of my MsHSc study. I get to know YJC and I finally found the outlet to distract myself from the pressure of 24/7 thoughts of writtings. YJC as the catalyst? or the cause? or the break lead to the shutdown?

NUMBER 2:
If I can recall back, in Semester 1, I was able to cope with such a workload: Woke up at 10am, breakfast ON MY OWN, and head to uni. At 3pm, head home, and lunch ON MY OWN. Head back to uni, do stuffs, and productive I was. Suddenly it is 10pm at night. Head home, to my little, warm and cosy room, in the middle of Sydney winter, and I am all ALONE ON MY OWN.

That semester, I barely make friends, of which I can recall are Kwee, Tung, and Duong. And maybe Munir and Hanafi. And we were not really close at that time. And the truth is, I barely know anyone in the D2 box amidst all the people and their cubicles. Things changed by early semester 2, but it was a lot different in semester 1.

By the end of the semester, I was at my breaking point. I guess I broke somewhere there. I had to mend myself. The trip back to Malaysia helps a bit. Bit still not good enoough to mend.

BACK TO NUMBER 1:
YJC- an outlet to get away from my breakdown, or the catalyst to the breakdown.

I dont know.

Maybe one day I'll be able to figure this out. Or have the courage to write it down here.

One day I will.

(to be continued, i hope)